rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
