So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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