you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize