I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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