I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize