i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
