so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
