Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
