Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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