My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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