I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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