Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
