He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
