how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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