please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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