i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
