I smell stomach acid.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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