I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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