I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
