is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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