im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's official drugs can't kill me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
