i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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