Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
