could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
