Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
