What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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