brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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