im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
