I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
