Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
