At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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