There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
