Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
