I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE