There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.