five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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