Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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