you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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