You can't motorboat a personality
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
