I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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