At least make sure they are 18
Why
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
