Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
