remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Randomize
