She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
