I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
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Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
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I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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