I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
