Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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