Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
