Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think people are normalizing furries
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
