My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
