my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
