fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
okay pat passed out under dana's car
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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