the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
