Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize