I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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