Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
