All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize