Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
