the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize